How to Last Longer in Bed: A Complete Guide for Aussie Men

Let’s get one thing straight, great sex isn't measured in minutes. And while lasting longer in bed is a goal for many men, there's no magic number that makes it "good". 

But if you've ever wished you could last a little longer in bed, you're certainly not alone. Finishing sooner than you'd like is one of the most common sexual concerns among men, even if it's not exactly a topic that comes up over a beer. 

Whether you're looking to build confidence, explore new techniques or simply spend more time enjoying yourself (and each other), there are plenty of ways to take control and enjoy pleasure at your own pace.  

From practical techniques to products that help you last longer, this guide explores what works, what's normal and when it's worth chatting to your GP. 

No pressure, just practical advice to help you feel more present, more in control and more connected. 

Want the short version? Slow down, breathe, train your pelvic floor and learn your own arousal curve. If you want an extra hand, a non-numbing delay gel like Edge can help you feel more in control. 

First, what's "normal"? 

Much less than you'd think! A large international study timed couples with a stopwatch and found the median time from penetration to ejaculation was about 5.4 minutes. Porn and locker-room talk have set expectations that don’t exactly line up with real life. 

There is no set time sex "should" last. What matters is whether you and your partner are happy with it. If you're both enjoying yourselves, the clock is irrelevant. If finishing early is getting in the way of that, there's plenty you can do. 

What exactly is premature ejaculation? 

Premature ejaculation (PE) is the medical term for regularly finishing sooner than you want to, with little control over it, in a way that bothers you or your partner. It's the most common sexual concern men have. Healthy Male estimates it affects between 1 in 5 and 1 in 3 Australian men aged 18 to 59. 

You'll sometimes see it defined as finishing within about a minute of penetration. Doctors focus less on the stopwatch, though, and more on control and how much it affects you. There are two main types:

• Lifelong PE has been there since your first sexual experiences.
• Acquired PE develops later, after things used to be fine. It's often linked to stress, anxiety, relationship issues or erection problems.

Note that wanting to last longer doesn't automatically mean you have premature ejaculation (PE). Sometimes it's simply a preference. PE is a recognised sexual health concern that involves difficulty controlling ejaculation and associated distress. 

How do you know if you might be experiencing it? 

You might be dealing with PE if most of these sound familiar: 

Finishing early now and then, especially with a new partner or after a while without sex, is normal and isn't PE. There's no home test for it. If the list sounds like you, a GP can help work out what's going on (see when to talk to your GP below). The techniques in this guide can still help in the meantime. For more on causes and options, read our full guide to premature ejaculation. 

Why do some men finish early? 

There’s often a number of factors that speed things up. Usually, it's a mix of body and mind. The most common factors are: 

For a closer look at the medical side, read our guide to premature ejaculation. 

9 ways to last longer in bed (and enjoy intimacy more) 

These are listed roughly from easiest to most involved. Most men get the best results by combining two or three.

1. Take the pressure off performing. Sex isn't a test of stamina. Getting caught up in how long you're lasting can take you out of the moment entirely. Shift your focus from the clock to connection. Pay attention to what feels good, communicate with your partner and remember that pleasure isn't measured in minutes.

2. Slow your breathing. When arousal builds, breathing gets fast and shallow. A slow, deep breath from the belly can briefly take the edge off the reflex. Make it a habit before things heat up, not only at the last second.

3. Change the pace or position. Slower, deeper movements are usually less intense than fast ones. Positions where you're less in control of the rhythm, or where your partner is on top, can also take some pressure off. When you feel things building, slow down or pause and switch to something else for a while. 

4. The start-stop technique. During solo practice or with a partner, stop all stimulation just before the point of no return. Wait until the urge settles, then start again. Repeat three or four times before finishing. Over a few weeks this teaches you to recognise your build-up and ride it. 

5. The squeeze technique. Similar to start-stop, but when you pause, you or your partner gently squeeze the end of the penis, where the head meets the shaft, for several seconds until the urge fades. 

6. Train your pelvic floor. The same muscles you use to stop the flow when you wee also play a part in ejaculation. Squeeze them for three seconds, relax for three, and work up to sets of 10 a few times a day. Small studies have linked pelvic floor training to better control, and it's free and discreet. 

7. Make more of the build-up. Who says penetration has to be the main event? Take your time teasing, touching and discovering what feels good for you both. Enjoy the anticipation, explore different sensations and remember that the journey can be just as enjoyable as the destination. 

8. Use a condom. Condoms can slightly reduce sensation for some men, which can help. A thicker condom does this a little more. 

9. Try a delay product. Delay products are applied to the penis before sex to help you feel more in control. There are two main types, and they work very differently. More on that below. 

Delay sprays, creams and gels: numbing vs non-numbing 

Most delay sprays and creams on pharmacy shelves are numbing. They contain a local anaesthetic such as lidocaine or benzocaine, which reduces sensation in the penis. They work quickly and suit some men well. The trade-offs are that you feel less, and the product can transfer to your partner and numb them too unless you use a condom or wash it off.

Non-numbing products take a different approach. Instead of dulling sensation, they're designed to help you stay in control while you still feel everything. 

A little extra confidence, without losing the feeling 

Unlike traditional numbing sprays and creams, Edge™ Delay Gel is formulated without numbing agents such as lidocaine or benzocaine. 

Made in Australia and with over one million units sold globally, Edge is designed to help you delay orgasm while keeping sensation part of the experience. Because we believe that lasting longer shouldn't mean feeling less. 

And with a formula that can be applied well before intimacy, there's no need to interrupt the moment when things heat up. Edge™ Delay Gel gives you a little more confidence and control when you need it most. 

How to use Edge: 

The effects last for many hours, so there's no need to apply it in the moment. It's suitable for use with condoms and for oral, and one 7 ml bottle gives about 30 applications. Edge isn't a lubricant, and it shouldn't be used if your partner is pregnant or trying to conceive. If you notice any irritation, stop using it. 

Bring your partner in on it 

This is a shared experience, so make it a shared project. Talking about it openly takes away a lot of the anxiety, which on its own often helps. Your partner can help with start-stop and squeeze practice, and you can agree on signals for when to slow down. Remember that sex isn't only penetration. Hands, mouths and toys all count. And remember that pleasure doesn’t have to end when you finish. 

When to talk to your GP 

Finishing early now and then is normal and usually nothing to worry about. Book in with your GP if it: 

Your GP can help find any underlying cause and talk you through options, including referral to a psychologist or sex therapist. It's a very common conversation for them, so there's no need to feel awkward. You can also call the healthdirect nurse line on 1800 022 222, any time of day. 

Frequently asked questions 

How long should sex last? There's no right answer. Studies put the typical time from penetration to finishing at around 5 minutes. What counts is whether you and your partner are satisfied. 

Can you train yourself to last longer? Yes, for many men. Start-stop, squeeze and pelvic floor exercises all take a few weeks of practice, so stick with them. 

Do numbing sprays reduce sensation? They're designed to. Anaesthetic sprays and creams reduce sensation in the penis and can transfer to a partner. Non-numbing gels like Edge Delay Gel contain no lidocaine or benzocaine, so they're an alternative if you'd rather keep the feeling. 

How long before sex should I apply Edge? It should be fully effective in about an hour and the effects last for many hours, so apply it well ahead of time. 

Is finishing early a medical problem? Occasionally finishing early is normal. If it happens most of the time and bothers you, it's worth seeing a GP, as it can be a medical condition with effective treatments. 

More pleasure. Less pressure. 

At the end of the day, great sex isn't about how long you last. It's about how good it feels, how connected you are and how comfortable you feel in the moment. 

Whether it's learning to slow down, trying something new with your partner or getting a little extra support, finding what works for you is what matters. 

Because intimacy should be something you enjoy, not something you have to prove. 

Ready to take things at your own pace? Explore Edge Delay Gel, designed to help you last longer without numbing the experience. 

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